Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
