but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
