its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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