i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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