question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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