@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
