you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
