week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize