I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I came so hard my ears popped.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
