Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
