I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
