My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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