After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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