You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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