wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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