problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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