I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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