Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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