There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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