i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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