Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
