I bet he comes in French.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
