I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
im calling her cock vulture from now on
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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