just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My balls are so social today.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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