I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
