Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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