We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
