A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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