I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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