Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
