she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize