Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
