I like my sex mixed with concussions.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
