So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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