I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
