I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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