is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
