Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
