Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
