well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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