i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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