i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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