census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
