So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
