you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
