Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize