I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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