what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
