Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
