I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So vagazzling was a success
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
