So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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