Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
wow bdsm is so cute
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