pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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