He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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