so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
