how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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