One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
