Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize