You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
