i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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