My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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