his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
