Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
