Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
