Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
