I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
A bitchslap is in order.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
