You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
