At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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