Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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